Today I went grocery shopping...it is nothing like shopping at home in California. Nothing. like. it.
Top 10 crazy things about shopping in Italy:
10) You have to pay 1 euro for your cart. You eventually get that euro back when you return the cart...but the likelihood of me actually having a euro coin in my possession at any given time is the same likelihood of me not eating chocolate for a day. Slim to none. I try to always keep a euro in my wallet...but somehow said euro always ends up in the cash register of the local gelateria...such a mystery how that happens! So...I usually have to collect all my groceries in my arms while I shop. I really need a few extra arms.
9) There is only one register open at all times. If you are lucky. Sometimes there is none. On a REALLY busy day, there might be two registers. But only if the line gets to be about 20 minutes long. Then and only then will the store consider a second line.
8) An item you bought yesterday and every week for the past seven months may just disappear from the aisles, never to be seen again. Such is the case with my favorite parmesan cheese tortellini. I've bought it every week for the past seven months. They didn't have it for a while...and so I searched all over town until I found it in some back corner of some random market downtown. It returned to my local store for a few days and now is inexplicably gone again. Moral of the story: don't get attached to any particular item...you may ever see it again. I really miss that tortellini.
7) The soundtrack in the store is "Hits from the 1980s". The strangest selection of American music is pumped through the speakers in these stores...I've never heard so much obscure 80's music.
6) You have only three options of toothpaste...but 10 types of mozzarella cheese. Mamma mia. Just give me some Colgate and some cheddar!
5) You can only buy what you can carry. Which for me is not much...since my house is uphill from every grocery store. Thank goodness for cute reusable shopping bags!
4) Your local store (and the entire city) might be out of milk, butter, eggs, pizza dough... Yep, it's not a guarantee that the store will have staple items. Last week all I wanted to make was a BBQ chicken pizza. I needed mozzarella cheese and pizza dough. Easy right? No. I went to FOUR stores all across town on a rampant search...and STILL came home empty handed. I mean, really?? Apparently there was a sale city wide and people decided to stock up. Four stores! And now it's my favorite cookies that have been sold out for weeks. It's a travesty.
3) You have to wear gloves when handling produce. It's true. Right by those little plastic bags they also have little plastic gloves that you must put on in order to touch any produce. I have no idea why.
2) There are two full aisles devoted to pasta and one full aisle for cans and jars of tomatoes in a plethora of styles. But no lasanga noodles. Or refried beans.
1) If you realize you forgot to buy something and it is past 6:30pm you are out of luck. You are also out of luck if you need the store between noon and 4. Or on a Sunday. Or on a Monday. Or on any type of holiday. Or anytime there is a strike. Or a parade. Or if the management just decide they don't feel like working anymore. Good luck knowing when any of those things might happen. Thank goodness San Giacamo (my neighborhood) has a 24 hour vending machine room around the corner. I've bought more milk, pasta sauce and toilet paper there than I can begin to remember.
Albertsons, how I miss you so!
Despite the crazy, my little neighborhood grocery store, the Coop, has become quite endearing to me...and I will probably miss those register ladies who yell at me...the tattoed guy who follows me...the lack of items...and the little plastic gloves. But I certainly look forward to always having a cart...and regular store hours.
Oh Italy...you never cease to amaze me. Now bring back my tortellini and cookies!
This is funny...but goodness sooooo true.
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